Friday, October 13, 2006

Friday the 13th

Actually, I am not superstitious about Friday the 13th. Or black cats crossing my path. My path is frequently crossed by a black cat: Noodle. I don't walk under ladders purely because I don't want anything to fall on top of me. The number 13 means nothing to me. It's a number.

However, that doesn't mean that today has no importance in my life. It does. It's my mother's birthday. Or rather, it would have been her birthday had she still been alive. She would have been 64 this year.

I had missed out on four of her birthdays before she died due to living out here. I used to make a big thing of it: a cake from the home industry shop (made by number 32 who was very good at marble cake and sponge), some flowers and a gift with a card. A few times I treated her to lunch or to tea in a very swish restaurant that she always wanted to go to, but was afraid she couldn't afford.

This grand display sounds lovely, doesn't it? What mum wouldn't love that on her birthday?

Well, my mum was a bit weird about her birthday. She would say she didn't want gifts or accolades. She would say that it was a waste of money. She would actually tell us not to buy her anything at all, but to use the money for something more important instead.

I only took this seriously ONCE in my life. All hell broke loose and she accused me of not appreciating her and not loving her. So, every year after that, she got the grand display, and I got to hear, "But you shouldn't have spent so much money. I didn't want anything. " I wasn't going to take my chances and only turn up with nothing again.

For all her weirdness and quirks, I miss my mom today. I wish I could do the grand display for her just one more time. The cake, the flowers, the gift and the tea at Mantovani's.

I miss you, mommy.


  1. I'm sorry to hear that you can't spend this special day with your mother Tanya. And I completely sympathize you regarding the reaction she had when you followed her instructions :) My parents are the same way.

    HOwever, just because she's not around doesn't mean you can't celebrate her and her life. Instead of sharing the day with her, why don't you and Kate go for tea/lunch at the place you used to go with your mom in honor of her. You could still get the cake that she liked and share memories of her as you eat it. The flowers could still be purchased and used to decorate your windowsill - everytime you see them, you'll be reminded of her.

  2. That's a lovely idea. I'll have to adapt it, though. I now live in the UK, having left South Africa close to 9 years ago.

  3. Oh oops. Ok, well I'm sure you can find a place where you are now that's similar to where you used to go together. I really MUST pay more attention...

  4. I was going to suggest celebrating her birthday with a special dinner or something. :)

  5. Nice ideas from Kat and Karen, I agree. Cyber hug for you, T.

  6. I'm a bit late with my comment, but for what it's worth, I know exactly how you feel, Tanya, and I hope you did as Karen suggested and got to celebrate your Mum in your own way.

    It'll be my Dad's birthday soon (or would be, if he was still alive). He's been gone four and a half years, and I still miss him every day.

  7. it is my mothers birthday too!

    wishing both our moms a happy happy birthday!