Back to Life... Back to Reality...
I am back in Blogland. Well, not that I really left. I was just quiet for a couple of weeks. I suppose an explanation is in order.
Kate and I arrived back in the UK on Saturday morning after a completely unplanned and last minute visit to Johannesburg, South Africa. My sister and ex-brother-in-law hastily arranged our flights and paid for our tickets and we were on a plane heading direct from London on 10 January.
Official records state the date of my father's death as 9 January 2007. He died close to or just after midnight on the 9th. My sister phoned me around 4:20am UK time after the paramedic had pronounced him dead. Initially I was told he had suffered a massive heart attack, but it appears he may have had a stroke.
Kate and I spent 8 days in South Africa. Attended the funeral. Saw friends and family. It was Kate's first time in SA. What a way to introduce her to the family, eh?
We've been back two days and I am exhausted. I didn't cry much during my stay in SA. But yesterday morning I woke up in tears. I did the same thing this morning. I was in a nice protected little bubble while iN SA and now that's burst and I have begun to feel my loss. I got through the worst bits without shedding a tear, and now, at home, the flood gates have opened and the emotion has poured out.
A lot happened while we were there. Not so much in physical time, but to us as a couple. I'll talk about that later.
My father looked peaceful. He doesn't suffer anymore. He doesn't struggle to breathe.
We mourn for ourselves, don't we? The world is certainly emptier without him.
Welcome back, Tanya.
ReplyDeleteI'm desperately sorry that you didn't make it to SA in time to say goodbye to your Dad. That's the curse of those of us who live away from home and family, isn't it?
My thoughts are with you. Big hug, petal.
We do mourn for ourselves, it's true. We mourn our own losses, and we curse ourselves and guilt ourselves for not being around at the right times.
ReplyDeleteThe circle of life, and all that. Not that it makes it any easier.
Take it easy, T.
Sorry to hear it's hitting now - even if you did expect it. We've ridden this rollercoaster before but that doesn't make it any easier does it? :(
ReplyDelete(((((( T ))))))
Sweet, sweet sorrow.
ReplyDeleteBe loving and gentle with yourself,
hugs and kisses,
J.
We are sending love,light and big hugs your way and hope it brings some comfort and peace your way. Loves T & J xx
ReplyDeleteRed and * - Thank you for your kind thoughts. Time will take care of the wounds.
ReplyDeleteDori - Nah. The rollercoaster ain't easy. It feels like a case of "make hay while the sun shines."
HealingRoom - thanks. I will be gentle.
Shade of Red - Please give J a little hug from me and one for you. Thank you.