Friday, July 28, 2006

Developments in the Life of Me

Wow, I must be thinking this is important. The heading is bold, in colour and italics, not to mention larger than usual.

1. I think I have an idea of the direction I would like to see my life going in. My idea of what I want to do with my career is starting to take shape and I am really inspired now. For a few years now I have had a non-career. Not quite a McJob. Just a Non-Career.

2. I am considering a part time weekend job at the local BP shop. 10 hours a weekend and some extra cash should see me out of debt and saving for study and new car in no time.

3. I am chanting for students for the next series of writing workshops. I notice I have been put down to do the summer sessions as well, so that makes things a lot more interesting. If I get to do all 3 sessions, that's 60 hours of teaching under my belt. Hooray! (And obviously the extra cash will help towards the goals outlined in point number 2)

And now, some astrology:

Today and tomorrow, the moon is in Virgo.Virgo rules the digestive system so go easy on the fatty food. Those who suffer from digestive problems may find them flaring up a bit. Virgo days are great for gardening, although with the moon waxing it's best to do planting instead of weeding. Virgo's energy encourages us to be routine and to pay attention to details. Creatively it's a great time to work on the little extra bits that will add that much more quality to the work you are crafting.

Sunday the moon moves into Libra and a light, airy energy is usually felt on these days. Libra governs the urinary system and it's advisable to drink lots of water, particularly between 3pm and 7pm when these organs are functioning at their peak. Avoid heavy drinking on Libra days (and particularly during the waxing moon) as this will put an extraordinary amount of stress on the kidneys. Libra's energy focusses on relationships and self-examination.

The moon is waxing (getting full) so ease off on the naughty foods and cut back on the alcohol because this will affect you more. Those trying to lose weight may find that their efforts appear not to yield the rewards they were hoping for. Don't panic - you'll see the results when the moon is on the wane again. Waxing moon is a great time to begin planning creative pursuits or schedules.

Mercury moves out of retrograde tomorrow.

Thursday, July 27, 2006

Due To Several Technical Problems...

Everyone loves Dangerdykes. So where is the next episode? Kate keeps forgetting to bring home the Adobe Photoshop and the MS Word discs to throw onto our new computer, so while there are actual drawings that exist, they are not going up until we get the software we need!

Life is fairly quiet. I must study this weekend, get some exercise. Stretch. And above all else, I must write. I haven't stuck anything writing wise up for ages and I owe it to myself to get creative again.

Wow. What a short, boring post.

Wednesday, July 26, 2006


And Now, A Movie Review...

ohmygod. I have wasted 2 hours of my life on this piece of shite movie. Kate and I saw the trailer on another DVD we rented from Screenselect a while back. Thinking the movie looked good, we added it to our "Must See" list. What the FUCK were we thinking?

Domino is (very) loosely based on the life of real life bounty hunter Domino Harvey. The plot keeps twisting and turning and Keira Knightly just comes across as a Sloane Ranger who's playing at being a tough chick. (Stick to the period dramas love). SO fake it's not even funny. What's worse is they have a quality actor like Christopher Walken in it. Oh man. It's a steaming pile of shit and best avoided if possible. You don't want to lose a chunk of your life to this pathetic crap pile.

I watched the whole thing to the end. I insisted. Since we rented it, I had to watch it. And surely, somewhere, at some point, it was going to get better? Halfway through the movie, Kate looked at me with a raised eyebrow and announced she was off to have a shower.

SAVE YOURSELF: DO NOT RENT THIS MOVIE. IT'S PANTS.

Tuesday, July 25, 2006

Oh My God! It's a MEME!

I've been wanting to write a lighthearted post for a while because I think I've ranted way too much and * (asterisk) handed me the perfect opportunity. So, without further ado, here's the meme:

Five Things in My Freezer
1. Half a bag of fake chicken aka Quorn pieces
2. Bag of frozen vegetables
3. 3 pieces of frozen fish
4. A box of Tesco's own veggie burgers
5. Half a bag of Morrison's own chicken nuggets, which Kate says are positively vile

Five Things in My Closet
1. Too many pairs of shoes to count
2. My favourite Chinese style coat and other items of clothing
3. Suitcases
4. Winter duvets and blankies
5. A little TV we never use

Five Things in My Car
1. A big rainbow coloured umbrella on the backseat
2. A bag for my rubbish
3. A little Peterborough map book
4. Winter gloves in the cubby hole (glove compartment for those who don't speak English)
5. A bag of cat litter in the boot I forgot to take out last night

Five Things in My Purse
1. A book called "The Four Agreements Companion Book" by Don Miguel Ruiz
2. A fold up umbrella (I was told to carry an umbrella everwhere I go in the UK)
3. My appointment book without any appointments in it
4. My Mslexia magazine
5. My Art of Living Magazine

I am not tagging anyone. Pick this up if you want it - just leave me a comment to let me know you have.

Monday, July 24, 2006

The End of an Era

My Doctor Martens' sandals are officially irretrievably broken. I've had those sandals for 6 years and in that time repaired the strap on three occasions, and that only in the last three years. They were the first pair of shoes I bought in the UK - at the Doc shop itself. The sandals were my favourite. Nothing like Doc Martens' Air Wair to make your feet feel good.


I love Docs in general. The very first thing I did with my very first pay cheque from a proper job was to go out and buy myself a pair of red Doc Martens' boots. I wore those boots until they practically fell off as well. I can honestly say that Docs have been the most comfortable shoes I have ever owned.

Having said that, though, I can't be a vegetarian and wear leather, now can I?

I stubbornly clung to my Docs' sandals and they are now literally hanging off my feet. The soles have come unstuck and the cushiony softness of the air wear evaporated some time ago.

Saying goodbye to them, as strange as this sounds, is difficult. We're talking my favourite shoes here. They've walked miles with me. My foot is imprinted on them. They've been on beaches, walked through cities, lounged at home. I am reluctant to go home this evening and consign them to the bin. It's like saying goodbye to old friends.

How silly is that? Being so damn attached to a pair of old stinky shoes?
Virtual Friendships

I've been thinking about the blogosphere and how we relate to the people we encounter. Looking at my list, I have a mix of "real time" and "virtual" friends who I am in touch with regularly.

There are several people I have never met, yet I have 'hit it off' with them. I communicate with one person I have never met on a daily basis. Chris is out in New Jersey and I am in a little village in England. We've never spoken to each other. All we have to go on is what we read on each other's blogs and the emails we send.

Is blogging the new 'pen-pal' thing - only quicker?

Growing up, there were several magazines you could get advertising pen pals and me, being me, I wanted pen pals because 1. I liked writing letters and 2. I enjoy meeting new people. I wrote to a girl in New York for something like four or five years and a girl in the UK for about 6 months. I also found a few 'pen friends' in South Africa itself - as close to me as Yeoville or as far as Cape Town.

Eventually these friendships petered out. Kids grow up. They get bored of writing the same letters over and over.

And suddenly, hey-presto - you have the Internet and all these blogging tools!

I met Kate over the internet. We didn't actually talk to each other for a month. We simply traded emails and gradually, just through the words on the screen, we began to develop feelings for each other. How is this possible? To fall in love with just words on a screen? Someone we've never met? Spoken to?

Fifteen-twenty years ago, we could just as easily have fallen for each other had we been pen pals. It's just quicker than snail mail and there's no paper involved.

The drawback of virtual friends is that as much as you like them, if they are across an ocean, you can't actually sit down and have tequila slammers with them. Then again, a lot of my really close friends are in South Africa and I can't do that with them either.

The point, of this rather pointless post, is that I believe that people can make connections with other people over the net. I believe that real bonds and friendships can form between individuals. I also believe that one can't be too careful on the net either - too many freaks and weirdos.

Friday, July 21, 2006

A Little Newsy Type Update Thingamy... Nothing Interesting.

Last night we were invited to an impromptu BBQ (braai, yes I know, braai...) at our friend Raff's house. So good seeing him and being able to socialise and chill out. We ate outside under candlelight, sipping drinks and listening to some chilled out music, while talking the biggest load of rubbish in the world.

It was such a lovely evening that I woke up feeling really good about myself and the world and everything in it. I felt loved. I felt special. And all it took was just connecting with another human being that we care about.

Kate agreed that it was a rather special evening. No idea why. There was no special celebration, no amazing revelations made in the conversation. It was just... nice.

Sometimes there is no reason behind things that make you feel good, no heavens opening up and falling stars and fanfare. Sometimes things are good - just because they are.

I'll avoid being an over-analytical Gemini and resist putting some kind of philosophical spin on it all. It just was what it was.

I also got my second OU assignment back this morning and it appears that I am doing reasonably well, so I am quite chuffed with my progress. The whole What Am I Going To Do With My Life thing seems to be not such a huge panicky thing anymore because I am beginning to catch a glimpse of what it is I would like to end up doing.

The whole financial thing isn't such a scary boogeyman anymore because I am beginning to consider several solutions to the current situation - some of these involve using the skills and talents I have consigned to the top shelf, others involve finding other sources of income in a more traditional kind of way.

It's as though the ability to worry has been sliced off me. I like that. It feels mellow. It feels strong and I am going to make good use of that. My motivation, which evaporated in June, is starting to make itself felt again. Time to move forward.

It's not good, it's not bad, it just is. And that's what makes sense.

Wednesday, July 19, 2006

FACK.

I did a stupid thing. I work for a venue booking agency as a day job and yesterday I forgot to cancel 2 reservations, which resulted in a charge for the booking. The last time this happened, I was told that if it happened again, I would have to foot the bill myself so now I have to pay for 2 hotel rooms, which I was foolish enough not to cancel. The total of this is in excess of £200. With finances already in crisis, this is not the best thing to happen right now. However, it has highlighted how tired I have become sitting in this steaming pile of financial poo-poo that I have been sitting in for some time now. The solution I have come up with is:

1. Cultivate serious multi-tasking ability so this doesn't happen again (being charged for a room I forgot to cancel)

2. Get a second job, say in Tesco's Supermarket or a pub or off-license.

Currently, my ends don't meet. They just gaze longingly at each other across a crowded room. If I want to study, improve my life and pay my debts, I have to make sacrifices, and one of these will have to be some of my spare time.

I reckon the first thing I need to do is get those debts cleared. Then try to save some extra cash.

The creative writing workshops depend on how many people sign up for them, at the end of the day. If there aren't enough students, the class doesn't go ahead, I don't get paid. I need something more solid than that to start off with.

This is what you get when you decide to change your financial karma.
GATVOL.

I am done with:

People who only know me when they want something

Drama queens

Drama in general

People who do not even acknowledge that I've sent them a package through the post, let alone thank me for the contents of it

People who only know me when they want something

Stupid arguments that can be solved through adult discussion

Political correctness

People I send birthday greetings to, and who know my birthday, but do not do the same

People I send Christmas cards to, who do not do the same

People I have written letters and emails to for ages who do not once bother to do the same

Crappy finances

People who do not keep promises

People who do not show up for appointments

People who show up EXTREMELY late after an agreed meeting time with no legitimate excuse

Telemarketers

The whole "I was abused so that's why I abused you" excuse

Excuses in general

Beating around the bush

Bullshit

Being nice

Sunday, July 16, 2006

A Tale of a Snake in the Grass

OK - before I begin with any further blogging, I must excitedly point out that Davina Le Fangue has FINALLY updated her blog, Fantasies of a Closet Dominatrix. I had begun to wonder if she had dropped off the planet, but no, she is still alive and well.

My dad always said that you could tell someone's character in how they treat animals. If they are cruel to an animal, they will no doubt be cruel to a person. Be especially wary, he said, of people who do not like animals at all, and those who would actively seek to harm them.

His advice was very accurate. I know this because I ignored it once and went out with someone who had indeed been mean to an animal - a cat - and that same person turned out to be a serioiusly twisted individual. Since then, I have been aware of this particular piece of advice.

The other day, a man was telling me how he had been surprised by a snake in the grass on his walk through a churchyard and was contemplating going back to the churchyard to look for the snake. To kill it.

It wasn't a poisonous snake. It hadn't threatened his life. All it did was offend him by slithering past him on his walk. He was going to kill it simply because of what it was: a snake.

Now, I am no fan of snakes, but I did feel for the animal. It hadn't done anything to warrant this response at all.

The episode led me to think about how some people are treated in this world. How being a certain kind of person provokes a violent reaction in another kind of person. I got to thinking about the men who are murdered because they are gay and the women who are beaten and raped because they are lesbian. I thought about my own country of origin and how black people were murdered and oppressed by the white people. I thought about how people are murdered or hurt because they hold a different religion or lifestyle from others.

I realise that the snake man wanted to kill the snake because he feared it. He feared the snake's potential to harm - regardless of the fact that it was a harmless snake simply making its way across the churchyard on its way somewhere, minding its own business. The same line of reasoning can be applied to people who are seen as "different". They are feared because of whatever misconception of their potential. Best to kill them now before they have a chance of revealing that potential, eh?

The sad thing is that this attitude of intolerance is adopted by a great number of people. Don't like the black man? Kill him. Don't like those gays - let's torture them. Those dykes are only after corrupting our women, so all they need is a good fuck from a real man and they'll learn their lesson. Afraid of the power of the Pagan? Of course! We'll burn them! That'll teach them all.

It's no small wonder that the world is in the state it's in. The identifiable problem is this: a lack of respect. A lack of respect for ourselves as individuals, for others, the earth, for life.

When I respect others, I respect their beliefs and lifestyles. Case in point: I know a woman who believes she has been abducted by aliens. I don't know if she has or not, but the experience has been real for her. I respect her views, I respect her individuality. It doesn't alter my perception of her. I certainly won't be trying to kill her for it.

Respect, without a doubt, can go a long way to establishing peace. I start with myself - making peace with me. If I know respect for myself, I know my boundaries. Knowing this, I can respect others and their boundaries.

And I am glad the snake got away unharmed, but it did make me realise what kind of person this man is and that he too wants to kill what he fears. It doesn't make me want to kill him, but it makes me understand where he's coming from. I don't judge him for his fear.

I've said it before and I will say it again. We fear what we don't understand. We hate what we fear and we want to destroy what we hate. So what if we try to understand what we fear? What if we tried to exercise compassion? You cannot bring about a peaceful transformation with violence and hatred.

Thursday, July 13, 2006

"Be still. Observe."

I believe that the Universe brings us messages. How these are delivered varies. Perhaps the message comes in a conversation with a friend, or a chance meeting. Perhaps in the lines of a book you're reading or a film or a piece of music. Occasionally the messages come direct from the Universe into the brain.

I think I have had one of those latter kinds of messages delivered today.

I've had a lot on my mind lately. I have been confused and frustrated about a number of things. I've felt overwhelmed by all my commitments, my finances and personal issues. I've spent an extraordinary amount of energy worrying about things and very little has actually happened to ease any of my fears.

I sat outside during my lunch break today and kicked my shoes off to feel the grass under my feet. I emptied my mind and just felt the rhythm of nature and the earth. My intention was to let go of all the worry and stress I was feeling, to create a little pocket of peace in my day.Then it came, the messages, in bright bold lettering across my mind:

"Be still. Observe."

I understand this to mean that I must quit stressing out and just observe what's going on around me. Now isn't the time for worrying or taking action. (Just as well with Mercury retrograde.)

So, I am going to listen to this. As my mate Joe says, the Universe taps you on the shoulder two - maybe three - times. After that it takes out the baseball bat.

Wednesday, July 12, 2006

Ah, Life....


Mercury is retrograde until around 12 August. In other words, on a cosmic level, expect communications to be delayed or screwed up. If you have felt since June that you are often missing the point - blame Mercury. Not a good time to make big decisions or start new projects, but an excellent time to catch up on filing and admin and to review and reflect on your progress. Confusion and fuzzy headedness may prevail - as well as arguments. Geminis especially need to watch out during this time - take care not to overspend and be nice to your family and don't start arguments. (Hang on, I'm a Gemini...)

I have felt the retrograde influence. My essay for the OU was delayed, getting stuff sorted out at work has been going slow and I have been misreading and misinterpreting information left, right and centre. Not fun.

I've started reading *asterisk's blog and came across some interesting stuff regarding MySpace and other internet publishing through a link on this post. Indeed interesting and worth a read.

My first DangerDykes comic strip is up. If you click on the picture you'll see it better. There will be more.

Also... readers of my fiction may be interested to know that a little surprise is in stall (in stall?? there's that Mercury influence for you. I meant in STORE) for them. I'll keep you posted. Nothing as dramatic as being published or anything - just a little bit of fun that's shaping up really well. Watch this space!

And since I am being random, today, I must comment on one bizarre thing that bothers me. String vests. There doesn't really seem to be much purpose to them and very few people can carry it off. Just thought I might throw that out there...

Sunday, July 09, 2006



Enough of this Bullshit

This is the tattoo I got on my upper left arm. Yeah it hurt a bit (like being Kneaded by a cat that's got its claws out and later it stung like bad sunburn). The tattoo is an African symbol from the Adinkra tribe and is called "Sesa Woruban" which means "transformation". It's the morning star encircled by the wheel of life. This symbol has been really important to me since I first came acrosss it about four years ago. It must have lived in my aura all those years because it now looks like that symbol has always been on my arm.

I have not been very kind to myself recently. I have put myself down and down played my talents. I guess I have been in a bit of a funk for a few months.

This weekend I was reminded by Ralphie that I am a good friend and I was reminded by Chris that I am creative and artistic. I guess I needed to hear that.

This weekend I have spent "rebooting" myself. Just chilling, spending time with myself, in between some light housework. It has been a bit of a voyage of rediscovery. I realised that I am not as bad as I thought. In fact, I am pretty cool. I just forgot who I was. I forgot to tend to my own Buddhahood. I guess that happens even to seasoned Buddhists and that it is still good. I remembered the lesson and feel better than I have since before I went to South Africa.


This is the first picture I have done of Dangerdykes, a new comic I am working on. Rather, it's a re-working of an old comic, which I did a few years ago for an e-zine I ran with PurpleSimon.

I decided it was time to bring Kung Fu Kitty and Wondermole back to life and send them on some new adventures. It's time to celebrate the creative force that runs through me.




Friday, July 07, 2006

"We can't stop here. This is bat country."

The Fundamental Beliefs of Tanya O, Secondary Priestess of the Worshipful Society of the Almighty Heate, Keeper of the Sacred Ritual of the Can Opener, and Servant of Cat

1. I believe that we are all connected in a spiritual way and this connection needs to be honoured by everyone throughout the world if we are ever to achieve peace and respect amongst nations.

2. I believe in astrology and the influences on the planets on all of us.

3. The moon has a lot of power and living in rhythm with this energy will benefit us all enormously. It connects us to the energies of nature and to the earth.

4. Earth energies are also powerful and deeply healing. I strive to live in harmony with nature and have begun to explore co-creative gardening.

5. I believe that we all have energies which we exchange regularly. Negative energies leave us drained, while positive energies leave us energised. Spend as little time as possible with people who have emersed themselves and their lives in negative energies.

6. Love is the only truth, the only way forward and to begin to use this energy we need to practice unconditional love towards ourselves.

7. I believe in the freedom to be whoever we want to be. We create our own reality.

8. We are all responsible for our own Karma

9. I believe in Karma.

10. Nothing happens without a reason and people come into your lives for a reason. There is no random.

11. The universe likes balance.

12. I believe in the healing energy of Reiki, which is, essentially, myoho-renge-kyo.

13. Everything is myoho-renge-kyo

14. I believe that complementary therapies work

15. I believe in the Mystic Law

16. That we all have Buddha nature and the potential for Buddhahood

17. There is no ONE path, rather a path best suited to each individual

18. The truth sets you free

19. Cats are more intelligent than humans - they allowed us to evolve so that we may work on their behalf.

20. Nothing is impossible.

PS: You earn 25 points if you can correctly name where my opening title of this post came from.

Thursday, July 06, 2006

RANT! RANT! RANT!

I love my friend Ralph. I love his no bullshit, take no prisoners attitude and his what-you-see-is-what-you-get personality.

Recently, he published a lengthy rant on his blog. I thought his rant was so provocative, I have decided to link it. Read Ralph's rant here.

Kate's updated her own blog after a few months' absence. But she isn't ranting. You can read Kate's Blog here.


Inspired by Ralph and in honour of his rant (which is by far stronger and more eloquent than my own), I herewith submit my rant:

I have issues with:

Badly written gay flicks. Why are the majority of gay and lesbian movies so rubbish? Why are so many badly scripted, with a plot that has so many holes it could be Swiss cheese? And why is the acting in so many of these flicks so substandard that I've seen better character portrayal in porn? I'll write my own.

Advertising for baking our brains with lies and illusions

Doctors who discriminate against fat people and assume that the only reason you're in their office is to ask you for a diet plan

People who think I am not worth talking to because my beliefs aren't mainstream or Christian or safe enough for them. I'll think what I want and I won't try to force my beliefs on you.

Jehovah's Witnesses and Mormons (no offence to the one ex-Mormon I know!) who think they can convert you on your own doorstep. I have made my own decisions independently. If I wanted to know more about you, I would have asked. Leave me alone.

People who don't know me and insist on calling me "Tan". If you knew me at all, you would know I hate being called "Tan"

People who say "I know you" , referring to some superior knowledge they may have regarding my character, when clearly, they do not. The very fact that you preceed your assessment with those words means that you don't know me at all.

Paedophiles and rapists. I think these individuals should be handed over to the families and partners of their victims for their punishment. No holds barred.

Aversion therapy. If someone's gay, they're gay! Leave them alone! Torturing them with strategically placed electrical impulses and the threat of burning in Hell for all eternity is not going to make anyone feel good about anything anymore. Fuckwits.

Lying bastard politicians who want us to believe that war is the best solution to everything and then decide to "rebrand" their war. Rebrand? What the fuck do you need to rebrand a war for? It's not a fricken product you need to market! Oh... I see... but it is.... you want to sell the idea to the masses. Fuck advertising for baking our brains with lies and illusion.

Fake people, narrow-mindedness and racists and idiots who cannot see a world that exists beyond themselves

Telemarketing. If I want double glazing, I'll go looking for it, please do not phone me and tell me I want it.

The guy who tried to sell me "female cancer" insurance over the phone. If I wanted to discuss my cervix with anyone, it wouldn't be with a total stranger. Fuck off.

There you go!