I The World of Hell
In Nichiren Buddhist tradition, Hell is a life state that we create and exists within our lives. Hell also contains the other life states, including Buddhahood.
I say this only because this describes my current state. My lifeforce has run out of juice, man, and I am operating on fumes alone. Well, fumes and caffeine. Who would have thought a fatty like me wouldn't need to go on a diet? I don't recommend stress as a form of weight loss at all, though.
OK, to answer the question on everyone's mind: How did the Interview at the Cat Mag Go?
Well. I sucked. All the interview served to do was highlight to me all the gaping holes in my experience and qualifications. I think I came across badly. I left the interview feeling really dejected and low. I doubt I'll be called back for a second interview.
This whole job hunting thing is wearing me down. I pretty myself up, sit in front of a stranger and try to justify why I am such a good catch. I answer the same questions with the same answers. I've seen more fake smiles and polite nodding than I can stand. I've only had rejections from every interview I've been to so far. I am so grateful for the temping job, because without that, I am not really sure what my state of mind would be right now. (Then again, I shudder to think of it being any worse than it already is)
To cheer myself up, I think about Nelson Mandela. Seriously. I think about a man spending 27 years in prison, most of which was spent on an isolated island, with very little contact with the outside world. My situation is much better than that of Nelson Mandela's and look at the legend he became.
I think about Nichiren Daishonin, exiled to the isolated, treacherous Sado Island in the dead of winter with nothing but a flimsy blanket and a run down hut to keep him from the elements. My situation is much better than Nichiren Daishonin's. Except, I am no founder of a Buddhist practice nor am I the ex-president of a country.
I'm sorry to hear that your interview didn't go so well. Was it for a cat magazine? We cats are the most beautiful creatures in the universe. But you have two eyes so you knew that.
ReplyDeleteDon't give up hope, OK? In the meantime, I'll purr if you rub my belly! Meow!! Nuzzles and purrs!
Sorry to hear about the interview... Is there any chance you're being too hard on yourself and seeing only negatives when perhaps, you DID make an okay impression?
ReplyDeleteSometimes our impression of how things went really isn't a true reflection of the actual event - hang in there! If they don't recognize the talent you have from just having spent a few minutes with you, then really, they're not worth working for :-)
ReplyDeleteI HATE job interviews! Especially the ones where they try psycho-analyse you...
ReplyDeleteAs we said on the phone my dear, it's obviously not meant to be if it doesn't go well - as amazing as the job seems, there is probably something really wrong with it... like a nightmare boss or asbestos building.
The right job will come along - hang in there!
Hey T, Interviews totally suck. Don't loose faith - perhaps the kitty mag.job would have had you reporting to a psycho bitch or something - better things are on your way.
ReplyDeleteJob interviews (and the whole searching process) is emotionally and physically (not to mention spiritually) draining. I have to echo what the others have said though, don't count yourself out just yet. We're often much harder on ourselves than others are and you might just be pleasantly surprised. If, however, you don't end up at the cat mag, perhaps the universe is trying to point you in a different direction? From the sounds of it, you've gotten the most joy recently out of teaching your writing classes...
ReplyDeleteSorry to hear that, T, about the interview. But if your perception is right and they felt you were not qualified enough, surely they could have seen that from the CV. People never cease to amaze me... But it may not have gone as badly as you think. I'll keep those fingers crossed (though perhaps not literally, since I'm sure I'd get arthritis keeping them crossed this long!).
ReplyDeleteLulu - thanks for the nuzzles and purrs!
ReplyDeletered - Thanks for your support, girl!
Dori - Hate them too.
Kate - Thanks for your support, my dear. Yeah. I rock.
Shade of red - My thoughts exactly.
* - I filled out an application form that only required me to fill in the last 3 jobs I had and I had to allude to my writing experience on their "comments" section. so they didn't see my CV.
You may not be the founder of a religion or the president of a country, but you're an amazing, fabulous Tanya.
ReplyDeleteRemember, to have gaps, there has to be something around them for them to exist. You've got lots of really solid stuff - you are a great writer, a popular (and clearly in demand) creative facilitator, you have an outstanding command of and power over the English language, and you know what it takes to captivate a reader and to structure a story properly. Over and above those work skills, you are a loving friend, sister, aunt and daughter.
That was the really long way of saying - please don't beat yourself up. please....
Hey Kerry - Thanks for the vote of confidence. And you're right, I need to be more positive about myself.
ReplyDeleteContinue to strengthen your faith!
ReplyDeletehttp://goshos-henryleong.blogspot.com/