Thursday, November 30, 2006

Stories from My Life: My Saturn Return Experience

Aah. I remember it well. You never forget the 2 or more years of sheer hell and agony that Saturn Return brings you. Usually, the influence kicks of for the first time around the age of 27 or 28 and takes you right up to the age of 30. I often refer to that period of my life as my "years of reckoning."

What is Saturn Return? Well... I prepared an explanation over on The Esotericon, if you're interested.

I had the (not so) good fortune of having my Saturn Return, along with a great number of my peers, begin in 2000, when the energy of a changing millennium was peaking and presenting its own influence and change in the world. For many of us, that Saturn Return was probably going to be the hardest we would face.

In the space of just a few short years, I got divorced, got involved with the wrong person, left the wrong person, lost 3 jobs, moved out of London, lost my mother, came out, met Kate, moved in with her. A pretty tumultuous time.

If I am honest with myself, I felt this life change coming back in the August of 1999, when I had a short, but transformational affair with a woman named Rachel. By December, gazing up at my ex-husband on a beach on old year's eve, 1999, I knew my marriage was over. I knew it deep down in my gut. The realisation was conscious, not a fleeting whisp of an idea. It felt concrete and reverberated around my skull. I couldn't marry up the atmosphere - the beach, midnight, watching fireworks over Plettenberg Bay to ring in the New Year with joy - and my knowledge that I felt in my bones that soon my marriage would come to an end.

In numerology, 2007 is a 9 year, which means that everything that began about 9 or so years ago, will be coming to a close. There will be resolution. So, the echoes of 1999, which was a significant year in so many respects, are going to be dying away soon.

1999. The year I announced that I had had enough of being a housewife in Holland and that I was going to London to work. (I had not worked since we had left South Africa nearly a year previously and hated having to rely on the ex-husband for money. Ironically, the ex-husband's family later claimed I had only married him for money. I did think that was funny.) It was the year I had an affair with Rachel. It was the year I knew my marriage was over. It was the last year of "life as I knew it".

Actually experiencing the changes was no fun. It was painful, insightful, chaotic. I lost a great many things, but I realise I had to lose them in order to have the life I have now, a life that I truly enjoy living. I likened it to a forest fire. Once the destruction had past, and the earth begins to recover, the first new shoots appear. That's really how I would best describe Saturn Return.

Do you have a Saturn Return story? Would like to hear about it.


  1. This is fascinating Tanya. I also read the link you included to the Esotericon. I've trying to think back to see if my life was quite as tumultuous during those years. I have to admit that life for me is pretty uneventful and most things don't bother me too much (I've been accused of being perpetually perky).

    For me, 1999 was graduation from University (finally) and no clear direction of where to go in my life. I ended up moving in with a friend and her husband (was not a good situation for any of us), the cat who keeps me up all night found me that year, and I began a long distance relationship with a man whom I though was "the one" but turned out to be the first real heartache I knew. Overall, it could have been a lot worse but at the time, 1999 was not one of my best (it also carried over into 2000). What was Prince thinking?

    Along with your following of Buddhism, do you also do horoscopes, readings, etc?

  2. Karen - I do tarot readings and psychometry as well as Reiki healing, Indian Head Massage, Aromatherapy and Reflexology. I am so in the wrong line of work in so many sad and twisted ways. Would love to learn more about astrology.

  3. Sorry to say I find all astrology a bit silly. It's probably that Richard Dawkins playing with my mind, like when he made me hate the baby Jesus...

  4. Shep - Fine with me. Each to their own.

  5. I really MUST pay you a visit!