Thursday, November 23, 2006

The Evil Spider Woman Has Me By The Short Rabbits


All plans for getting creative were recently derailed by the car battery malarchy that began on Tuesday.

The story begins at the start of winter, when I notice that my little white car has some trouble getting itself started. I figured, like me, the cold mornings lend themselves to reluctant starts. I continued to think this until Tuesday evening when the car failed to start at all and the man from the AA had to be called. I walked to work yesterday morning and got a lift back home in the evening. Luckily I got the car started first thing and trundled up to the garage. And £44.00 I didn't plan on spending and one big karmic lesson later: Hey! Presto! New battery, starting car.

The Universe keeps trying to teach me that my stubborn pride is not helping me. I can recall at least five times this year this lesson has been thrown at me. So now I am going to put myself forward to learn that it's ok to ask for help, that I don't HAVE TO do this all by myself. That, in fact, I am making things HARDER by insisting I do it all by myself. ALL THE TIME. Especially when I get stubborn. Or proud. There's a joke in our family that you get stubborn and then you get The O Family Stubborn. Which is far, FAR, worse.

Some of this also comes from my mother, who taught us not to ask for help, to be independent. Some of this comes from when I was a kid and my parents didn't have much money and I stopped asking them for money for stuff I needed for school projects, because my mother was always saying things like, "Ok, we'll do that, but that means we have to go a bit short this month." Of course, I would get into trouble at school, and had to learn that asking for stuff for school was ok. Asking for anything else wasn't. And then there was the time my mom insisted I sing for her at her whim, as she was paying for singing lessons. I didn't want to and told her so. She said that if I wanted her to pay for the lessons, then I will sing when she wanted me to sing. I got a part time job on a Friday and Saturday and paid for my own damn lessons and gave my dad some money for petrol to give me a lift to the class each week.

See? Stubborn AND proud. The Universe really knows to hit where it hurts. But that's the point. That's quite a big karmic package that has several facets to it. And looking at it from here I can see a whole lot of tangled shit in several different layers. The Universe obviously thinks I am ready to unwrap and unpack this piece of my family and personal karma... so here goes. Nam-myoho-renge-kyo.

Instead of getting down to doing some comic strips and some writing last night, I spent last night watching a DVD. The Killing of Sister George (review to follow). SO... hopefully some new Dangerdykes and other oddments by the weekend. Hoorah!

1 comment:

  1. It's a tough lesson to learn that we can be independent, even when we need to ask someone else for help. For some reason, Pride makes us think that, to be independent, we have to DO IT ALL. Even if something is beyond us.

    I love the story about your singing lessons, though. I'd consider that a mark of ingenuity and determination. Y'know, the connotatively good twin of 'stubborn'. ;)

    It's time to listen to the Universe, dear.