On Dating and Relationships (in General)

I started writing a novel about a woman who in one fell swoop loses her lover, her job and her home. (I do think it's funny that life is imitating art in a way) As a result, I've been thinking a great deal about relationships and how we hand ourselves to other people and all that's involved with that.

I came up with a stream of thought that I think I will definitely include in the book, but which I think is worth sharing out here.

It goes a little something like this (from the novel in progress by Tanya O):
WARNING: What follows is first draft material

At some point I will have to go out there. I will have to meet that woman that someone thinks is perfect for me, go to that club, go to that dinner, which is nothing more than a match making set up.

The thing is that I don't want to. It's not that I am afraid of meeting people. It's not that. I'm just someone who is a lot more comfortable with the part of a relationship that feels familiar and safe.

I'll explain: at the beginning of a relationship, you have all this excitement and sparkle. It's a bit of a high as you explore each other. Sounds like magic, but that's the part I am not looking forward to at all.

What I miss, is that secret language you come up with for your relationship. That part of the relationship in which you know every knot and groove of her life and on her body. You've learned the short cuts to make her laugh, to get her to talk to you, to get her turned on. It's a degree of intimacy that has become as natural as breathing. The way in which she curves her body around yours at night. Not looking for where the grooves are, but knowing.

I don't want to have to tell my stories to someone else as though I have never told them to anyone before. I don't want to have to learn a new language and new short cuts and have to try to find the knots and grooves in someone else's life.