Tanya's Wish List

One intriguing cat tattoo

A fabulous Diva Coat from Persephone (yeah right - costing $220!)

Manga Tarot Cards (on my Amazon wish list)

Buddha Tarot Cards also on my Tarot Wishlist.

Fabulous Daemonia Bat Shoes available from Gothic.co.uk

A shiatsu massage from Rosewell Shiatsu Centre

An Interesting Thought...

There are people who view tattoos as a form of mutilation. They ask why would anyone want to do that to their bodies? Why spend so much money on something that has no practical use, changes how someone's body looks and is a complete frivolity?

Why doesn't anyone say the same thing to those who turn to cosmetic surgery? It's also a form of body modification. It's often MORE expensive than tattoos or piercings.

I don't judge someone with a nose job. Why should anyone judge another person with tattoos? Why does that make someone a certain 'type'?

One of my cousins commented on my tattoo while I was in SA. I told her about my plans for more tattoos - a HALF SLEEVE of tattoos. "Well, you would," she said, "That's your lifestyle."

Urm. I should point out that she has one tattoo of her own. Small of the back. Only visible when she chooses it to be. So what if my tattoo is visible? And what the hell does she mean it's my lifestyle? Anyone meeting me for the first time would not think I have tattoos. I am a bit of a geek.

Well.... if it makes me a wild and wanton woman, bring it on. Fuck conformity. Fuck society's idea of what a woman should be. Long live choice! Life is too short for bullshit.

My dad would have been 67 today. I can't share this with Dad today, so I will share it with you guys.

I always made a point of phoning him on his birthday and having a chat. The world is undoubtedly a lot emptier without him. I always turned to him for his wisdom and advice and now he is not here.

I was chanting one night and asked who am I to turn to for wisdom now, without my dad. I swear the voice I heard was my dad's. The message was this: "You have all the wisdom you need within you already." Now that' wise, huh?

Sorry, no Dangerdykes or any other updates today and just this silly whiny post.

In other news:
Had an interesting morning. Met a very interesting lady who does shiatsu massage on horses (and humans, but not at the same time). She introduced me to the idea of macrobiotics. Me? Tanya? A health nut? Stranger things have happened. In any case I am considering (on absolutely no cash whatsoever) to at some point go and see this lady so that I can sort this fricken shoulder out.

I pulled the muscles in my right shoulder 4 years ago and recently it's been causing me no end of problems since the pain in the shoulder is only compounded by the pain of repetitive strain in the same arm. The pain creeps up my neck and I end up with horrendous headaches. If there's something out there that will help me manage the pain without chemicals, I am wililng to give it a go. Sadly, the chemicals are cheaper.

In Contemplation of My Next Tattoo...

(not that I have the money to be thinking about this right now.)

Nothing like indulging in a bit of fantasy of a Friday afternoon, eh? And today my thoughts are leading me to consider tattoos. My current tattoo (pictured left) symbolises transformation. Today I was thinking I really should get something tattooed in honour my dad. Or to symbolise rebirth/reincarnation/eternal life. The best that the internet has been able to spit at me is the Ankh. Ankhs can be dead boring. So now I am a bit stuck.

I have picked out several tattoos I would like. One of them I have 'borrowed' from something I have seen on someone else, but will have it modified. It's a wheel of cats. As if you didn't see that one coming. The cats symbolise independence. I am also contemplating a labyrys, obviously to symbolise female strength and the female warrior nature. I am also considering a beautiful lotus flower to symbolise my buddhahood and my faith.

Where are all these tattoos going to go and more importantly, where the fuck am I going to gte the money? Added to that, I would like to work all these ideas together into an intricate, almost tribal half sleeve tribal design. Something like the picture indicated below. Any ideas how existing tattoo, cats, and lotus can work together as part of a tribal sleeve design? The labyrys will be on the other arm, free standing. I want things to link up and join, you know. Not that I should be thinking about this now. Also, does anyone have any suggestions at all what other symbol there is to use instead of an ankh?

Tattoos are like Marmite. You love 'em or you hate 'em.

Now. This bloke pretended to be an expert forensic psychologist for nearly 30 years. He had no qualifications, no grades. He just fooled the justice system. Many of his reports, it is claimed, were simply cut and paste jobs off the internet. If this guy has been at it for nearly 30 years, what did he do before the internet? And why didn't anyone pick this up before 700 cases were handed over to him?

An Update on the Life of Tanya. As We Know It.

When did I become a cantankerous old lady? I am turning 34 this year - not 74! I don't like being cantankerous. This cantankerousness (is that a word?) must stop. That, or the bullshit it in the world must stop. Including my own bullshit! Besides, I always had visions of me being this laid back, very eccentric and scandalous little old lady who wore orange and purple together. At this rate, I'll be one of those blue rinse grannies in a floral print dress who watches the Corrie Omnibus. BAH!

So, in an executive decision, I have decided that I refuse to be an old bat at my age. So There.

ANYWAY...

I recently felt brave enough to step on the scales again. This morning it was, in fact. That's how recent. Urgh. I weigh 100kgs again. That's 15 stone to you people still stuck in the imperial system. It took me 4 months to lose half a stone (yes, I took it easy) and just ONE month to pile it all back on.

I made a promise to myself and to Kate earlier this year that I would SO take better care of myself this year and work on being healthy. This includes going for the dreaded smear test, the dreaded dentist check up and the not so dreaded eye test. And, of course, the health and beauty regime. Heh.

I have not fallen off the wagon - I have been left in the dust and the wagon is but a speck on the horizon and getting smaller and smaller as it races away from me. Crap. So now it's back to the whole get healthy thing. I have scheduled an eye test. And today I had a healthy breakfast and I have a salad for lunch and stir fry for supper. And a little bit of jumping up and down with my exercise DVD is planned. I see my GP on Thursday next week to sort my shoulder out and I am sure I will be prompted to make the dreaded nurse's appointment then.

I've had enough of being tired, slow, lazy, unhealthy. I really have. 34 years old, size 22, obese. That's no way to live, man. That's not even living. That's DYING. I am not going to do this to myself anymore. I owe this to myself more than anything else. I deserve a healthy life. I want to free myself from the life state of Hunger, and this is where I am going to start. With the physical.

So, Kate, you'll be seeing less of me sitting in front of the telly with my feet up from now .

Now, something else:
OK Buddhists - the Absolute Freedom Group needs your Daimoku.

The next Daimoku meeting is on Tuesday 27 February 2007 at the SGI-UK South London National Centre 1 Bernay's Grove, SW9 - www.sgi-uk.org - for those who do not live in London, then please chant in domo with us all when you're at home.

Gongyo starts at 7.30pm with everyone in the centre and then we have the multi function room to chant until 8.30pm. If you would like to support and lead the Daimoku for part of the hour, then please let me know.

This Daimoku meeting is to chant:
* for all those who have met this wonderful Buddhism through our Annual Introductory Lecture aimed at taking Nichiren Daishonin's Buddhism, SGI and 'nam myoho renge kyo' to the lesbian, gay, bi-sexual and transgender communities

* to ensure all those who have started to practice through our activities are connected to their respective Districts so they can develop a strong faith, move forward in their lives and become happy

* for the success of our future annual Introductory Lecture and take this wonderful Buddhism into the lesbian, gay, bi-sexual and transgender communities

The dates and venues for the next couple of meetings are:

Tuesday 27 March - 7.30pm in Room 6, 1st Floor, SGI-UK North & Central London Centre, Wakefield St, WC1

Tuesday 24 April - 7.30pm at the SGI-UK West London Centre, The Maples, 18 High Street, Acton, W3 6LJ

Once Upon A Time...

...there was a girl named Tanya who was reasonably laid back. It was a glorious time. Then an evil witch put a spell on all the HSBC banks in the land causing their branch numbers to vanish from phone books and the internet, replacing them with one single number, which rang through to the Call Centre of Hell. Tanya begged the demonic call centre woman to tell her the phone number of her local branch, but the demon refused, replying instead with, "We don't have the branch numbers in our office."

"Please," said Tanya, "I must speak with a Financial Advisor. Only she will know how to help me slay my Debt Dragon!"

"Very well, " said the demon, "I will put a call through to the Oakham branch and have them contact you."

HUH? They don't have the fucking number, yet they are phoning the branch on my behalf? What about my autonomy? I can't talk to my bank without 'mommy' telling me it's ok? Fuck this.

Bullshit.

And as long as we're on the subject of Bullshit...

I recently spoke to a woman who was slagging off people from a different race group to hers, calling them derogatory names and when I challenged her on her racism, she insisted she wasn't racist at all. BULLSHIT!

And the Winner Is....

Well, first of all, thanks to our three lovely contestants Kerry, Dori and Tracy for their fine contributions. I enjoyed all of them and frankly found it difficult to pick a winner for the competition. But pick I must and I have chosen Dori's entry to be featured here today. Dori receives a luxury holiday for two to Jamaica. Urm. Nope. That's a different competition. Dori receives a Tarot reading using a spread of her choice! Well done Dori!

To show what a nice person I am (and because it was so damn difficult to choose a winner!) both Kerry and Tracy will receive a 'past, present and future' reading from me as runners up.

Without further ado, I present Dori's Entry:


Callie is a butch diesel dyke who desperately wants to fem herself up a bit. She enlists the help of Wally/Wanda, a pre-op trans-sexual who volunteers with her at the HIV clinic on weekends. While shopping for pink frilly dresses together, they meet Bo – who does voice over work on Sponge Bob Square Pants and is too scared to come out of the closet to his Mormon family.
As these three misfits of society become fast friends, another crisis is looming. The mayor of their small town is on a mission to convert the local PFLAG office into a Centre for the Rehabilitation of LesbiGay Rejects.

Can Callie, Bo and Wally/Wanda save the town from religious and social domination before the stores close or all the fem clothes are sold out?
Will Bo's cartoon career take off and will his parents ever stop being Mormons?
Will Wally successfully become Wanda?
Will Callie and Wanda fall in love and adopt 12 stray cats and a Nigerian orphan?

Only time will tell…

And, at Dori's request, here are the other two entries!

From Tracy:
Coming out, and divorcing her husband, Whitney is exiled from her church congregation, so together the two lovers flee from their small homophobic birth town and Whitney's conservative family to start their new life in the city of New York.

Enthralled with each other, Joanne and Whitney decide to celebrate their love by marrying, both longing to adopt children and have a family they can call their own. But as they search for an establishment willing to legitimize their relationship, they discover that their love for one another is not good enough when the laws of world do not recognize their unlikely union.

Joanne, struggling to cope with the intolerance of the world and having already tasted the cruelty of a bigoted society, steeps into a dark depression while Whitney fearing her lover will commit suicide solicits the comedic assistance of Sponge Bob Square Pants to lighten her lovers' mood. Does she succeed and will these lovers eventually find peace and acceptance?

This touching, sex filled drama proves that love will triumph over any possibility of the imagination and will leave straight narrow-minded audiences feeling less like competent human beings and more like the spineless hypocrites that they are.

Kerry's Entry:
It was a dark and stormy night, and Abby and Libby arrived at their motel seconds before an almighty storm broke the heavens. Their secret tryst weekend, away from Abby's abusive husband and Libby's son, suffering from AIDS, was the first time that they'd managed to
get away to confront the cataclysmic realisation that had dawned on them as they worked side by side at the school bake sale. The realisation that they lusted after one another's cellulite loaded, wrinkle ridden bodies, because nothing else mattered - nothing mattered at all except their desire to satisfy one another.

Abby and Libby had not bargained for all that their accommodation at the Bates Motel offered. The mother and son who managed the accommodation were barely distinguishable from another, and Libby was particularly concerned that the shredded shower curtain was not in
fact a modernist statement, as Abby thought it was. The gardener, Freddie Kruger, was also a cause for alarm, as he was never without his sharp garden clippers. But the couple is determined to enjoy a weekend of passion no matter what comes their way.

Watch as they overcome obstacles, circumvent bizarre events and work their way towards realising the true depth of
their relationship, while desperately avoiding the attentions of an unwelcome visitor - the lady in the red Ferrari.

Dangerdykes have updated.

Movie Reviews

Baby Snatcher

Featuring a younger looking David Duchovny, Baby Snatcher is one of those movies that fits into the made-for-tv category. You'd most likely find this kind of film shown late on a Saturday or Sunday night or in one of those afternoon slots. It's based on the true story of a young mother who has her baby stolen by a complete stranger and her trials and tribulations in getting her child back. It's not an amazing piece of cinematic work and the storyline is predictable, with just above par acting. Not to say I didn't enjoy it. It made for good viewing on a Thursday night when there was nothing on telly at all. The story does explore how relationships and how people may be affected in this situation. This is clearly David Duchovny pre-X Files fame. It is nice, though, to see Nancy McKeon on the screen again. Whatever happened to her?

Mysterious Skin

The story revolves around the lives of two young men who were abused by the same man as children. One can't remember much of the event, and believes he was abducted by aliens. The other becomes a male prostitute and regards his abuser as the first man he ever loved. Watching this film was a bit like watching the second half of Boys Don't Cry: a mixture of horror, compassion and a sense that perhaps I shouldn't be watching this at all. The film contains some scenes which really push the boundaries of tasteful cinema, depicting the sexual abuse of these boys. While the scenes are cleverly cut, I still felt uncomfortable. The cast are superb in their roles. Joseph Gordon-Levitt has really shaken off his child star cutesiness for this role. I can completely understand why this film caused a lot of controversy. Despite that, I will recommend it to viewers of a strong disposition. Reading up about the film on wikipedia, it seems that some groups felt that this film was a "how-to" guide for paedophiles. I didn't think so at all. I thought it was difficult to watch in parts, but its focus, for me at least, was on the effects that this abuse had on these young men later in their lives. Not one I would watch again because it is really uncomfortable to sit through and I don't care much for the subject matter.

Coming Up In "Start Wearing Purple" (and related blogs) This Week

The blog stylings of Tanya O presents the following schedule of entertainment for your reading and viewing pleasure over the next seven days (give or take...)

The Start Wearing Purple Crappy Gay Movie Competition closes at midnight tonight. I have 3 entries so far and they are all good. You still have some time to get your entry in! Go here for details.

Got a question you need answered? Why not ask Jesus? The J-Man is keen to help and is willing to consider your question for his blog. If you have any recipes you would like him to feature, he'd be happy to do that too!

The penultimate episode of The Gay Superheroes Convention will be appearing on Dangerdykes on Sunday. (This is not the end of the Dangerdykes, just the end of that episode, after which our Sapphic crime fighting duo will be embarking on more adventures).

Over the weekend I am putting up reviews of the 2 most recent DVDs watched: Baby Snatcher and Mysterious Skin. That should be on the blog tomorrow.

A new feature will be appearing on Sunday: Experiments in Creativity.

Monday will be the day that the winning entry to The Start Wearing Purple Crappy Gay Movie Competition will be published. Really looking forward to that! This is so exciting!

Over the days of next week I plan to FINALLY post those entries I asked you all to choose from. There were three that were remaining. (What Happened After I Got To London; I Was A Sunday School Teacher; Life in the Rutland Countryside)

Devotees of The Esotericon, it's time to bid farewell to this blog as it is being deleted. Bye, bye, Esotericon.

There you have it. Aside from blogging, my weekend is going to be filled with cleaning the house and getting rid of cardboard boxes from our shed. And possibly getting rid of other shit we never use from our shed. Like the old vacuum cleaner.

Hurrah! Blogging is fun!

Jesus has updated his blog.

Happy Monday - A General Sort of Post

Mercury turns retrograde tomorrow. Not a good time to travel or start new things until after March 8th. Which is a bit crap for those hoping to have found a new love on Valentine's Day. Not that we celebrate Valentine's Day here at Start Wearing Purple.

I have only had 2 entries into The Start Wearing Purple Crappy Gay Movie Competition so far. Remember to send your entries in before Friday 16th Feb.

A new episode of Dangerdykes has finally been penned (and inked). The update before that was in September. September! I am working on not allowing that to happen again for some time.

I still need to put up some posts, which I had promised in the selection process at the end of last year. Don't worry - you'll be getting them at some point.

Dangerdykes have updated. Jesus would have updated too if Blogger didn't kick itself in the shins. But, fear not, a new update from Jesus is coming soon.

Nichiren Daishonin's Words from a Letter Entitled "Happiness in This World"


"Never let life's hardships disturb you. After all, no one can avoid problems, not even saints or sages.

Just chant Nam-myoho-renge-kyo, and when you drink sake, stay at home with your wife. Suffer what there is to suffer, enjoy what there is to enjoy. Regard both suffering and joy as facts of life and continue chanting Nam-myoho-renge-kyo, no matter what happens. Then you will experience boundless joy from the Law. Strengthen your faith more than ever. "

ANNOUNCING THE "START WEARING PURPLE" CREATE YOUR OWN CRAPPY GAY MOVIE COMPETITION!

The way it works is thus:

EMAIL your plot for a crappy gay movie in "back cover blurb" format - no more than 250 words before Friday 16 February to: purplespacemonkey at gmail dot com (you know how to translate that into an email address, don't you?) If you leave your entry as a comment, you will be disqualified. Sorry.

Points are scored on:

* ridiculousness of plot

* amount of random characters you can throw into it

* how many gay/queer issues you can highlight in your plot (extra points if you can fit it all into one sentence)

* bonus points for somehow linking an element of the plot to Sponge Bob Square Pants.

I have searched my goodie bag to find a prize I can ship anywhere in the world as you guys are all scattered across the globe. The best I can come up with is a free Tarot reading.

Time starts..... NOW!

The winning piece will be published on My blog on Monday 19 Feb.

Yet Another Lesbian Movie Review...





It's In The Water



It seems to me that I have really high expectations when it comes to my cinematic entertainment. I expect the same high quality storylines and acting, as well as originality and good scripting as I would from the mainstream films I watch. I am constantly setting myself up to be disappointed because the majority of lesbian movies I have seen range from acting talent only marginally better than that viewed in porn to mediocre. As a result of this I will have to judge lesbian films on a completely different level. (Read: sub-standard).

It's In The Water is predictable. In a small Texas town, a rumour circulates that something in the water is making the population gay. Added to the plot are several characters struggling with their sexuality and the town's general homophobic attitude and fear of AIDs patients in the local hospice. All the elements of a crappy gay movie. Can't have a gay movie without mentioning AIDs (Side note - do you know that the President of Gambia can cure AIDs in THREE days? Really.) . Or some church group protesting against something gay. Or some church group organising a "we-can-cure-your-gayness" class. The acting borders on the ridiculous. The film should really have started somewhere towards the end, when the real action started (married woman falls in love with lesbian friend - as if that hasn't been done to death). Clearly these script writers have not been attending my creative writing workshop.

On the gay scale... Measured against the worst lesbian film ever seen by me (Claire of the Moon - score 0) and the most acceptible (ie could be mainstream) lesbian film seen by me (Bound and If These Walls Could Talk 2 - score 10), this film scores 2.

Wikipedia states that this film was given the Philadelphia International Gay & Lesbian Film Festival - Audience Award (1997). WHY?

I despair.

A Creativity Update

The creative writing course went very well. At least, Lesson One did. I had about 10 students in the group. There were some absentees, including the same arrogant troll of a man who got on my nerves last year with his know-it-all attitude. Can't tell you how happy I was that he was absent! Unfortunately, he will show up next week. Urgh. Hopefully, since this is a much larger group, he will feel less inclined to tout his sexist, silly and self important opinions.

I had about six students come up to me afterwards to tell me how inspired they were and how much they enjoyed the lesson. I felt really chuffed. Driving home, I realised that I hadn't even thought about being paid for this. It is truly something I love doing so much that I would happily do it for free! I remember a Chinese saying: A man who loves his job will never work a day in his life. And I have also read somewhere that you know you've found your true vocation when you find yourself doing something that you would quite happily do for free. I am good at motivating people. Especially with their creativity. That makes me feel like I actually DO fulfill a purpose in this world.

My Writers' and Artists' Yearbook arrived a couple of days ago and I have already been paging through it looking at various magazines that accept freelance stuff. I have had a look at several websites as well for freelance writing stuff. I just lack the confidence to send my CV through to them because for the past 6 years my day job has been in admin. My friend did point out that the day job pays the bills and if I have to, I should write something up myself to fit the spec. So... the only thing holding me back right now is my fear that people will think I am completely silly for thinking I can apply for freelance work.

Which is ridiculous, because as Lesson One has proved, I CAN DO IT. It's also ridiculous because I have so much experience in a variety of fields. I should just do what I did when I approached Focus with the idea of doing the course: be brave, bold and not let them see the whites of my eyes. Same approach, I think, should be used for contacting the Welland Valley Art Society. They need at least 6 paintings from the artist seeking membership. Three of these need to be framed to exhibition standard. I have, so far, two paintings framed to exhibition standard. I have to actually PAINT the other four paintings. They take applications in April and in August. Not much time then.

Kate's asked me to try a "family portrait" of our cats. I told her I've never painted cats before, but she encouraged me to give it a go. She was so impressed with the drumkit, despite my protestations, and believes that I can produce a painting of our five rascals. Well, my love, I'll give it a go. But in acrylic because it dries quicker and I can get it framed quicker!

My buddy Chris and I are engaged in a few creativity experiments to be carried out during the month of January. This week, we are testing the efficacy of sodalite crystals at enhancing creativity. Watch this blog for the results.