Nowadays, my six years of private opera lessons only gets to exercise on the odd karaoke night.

You can listen to it HERE. However, the only decent one is Whatever Lola Wants

And just for fun, here's Kate's lovely voice. She loves The Carpenters.

How do YOU feel today?

I feel EMPOWERED

Leave a comment on how you feel today.

And now, some lyrics from a song Kate wrote which is particularly poignant this fine morning:

No more looking over my shoulder
No more hanging on to the past
No more filling up my tomorrows
With yesterday's sorrows
No more looking over my shoulder

Buddhist Book Recommendations

I recently had a comment from Karen asking for some book recommendations to do with Buddhism.

I practice Nichiren Buddhism, which has turned my life around 180 degrees and brought me a lot of peace and fulfilment. This Buddhism is the only spiritual practice I have come across so far that emphasises the happiness of those who follow it, and the creation of value in life and society.

I figured that perhaps Karen wasn't the only one out there wanting to know more, so here are my recommendations for books on Buddhism:

The Buddha in Your Mirror - This book relates the main tenets of Nichiren Buddhism in an easy-to-understand way. Perfect for someone who is just starting out and just wants to learn a little more about the practice.

The Buddha in Daily Life - Also good for the beginner, with a lot more detail and more involved. This book delves a little deeper than The Buddha in Your Mirror.

Modern Buddhist Healing - Learn how you can apply Nichiren Buddhism to healing illness and dis-ease.

For now, that's all I can think of. Any other Buddhists out there, especially those involved in other practices, who want to add more recommendations, please feel free to leave your recommendation in the comment box.

The little known benefit of depressive episodes is this: it strips away the bullshit and leaves the raw bones of life. You get to see what really matters and what really doesn't.

OK. Here I am.

give me a sign

And now, the news...

From the BBC:

Filipino 'dwarf' judge loses case
A Philippines judge who said he consulted imaginary mystic dwarves has failed to convince the Supreme Court to allow him to keep his job.

Florentino Floro was appealing against a three-year inquiry which led to his removal due to incompetence and bias.

He told investigators three mystic dwarves - Armand, Luis and Angel - had helped him to carry out healing sessions during breaks in his chambers.

The court said psychic phenomena had no place in the judiciary.

The bench backed a medical finding that the judge was suffering from psychosis.

'Dwarf dalliance'
The Manila trial judge had asked the Supreme Court to dismiss the complaint and return him to the bench, after being sacked in April.

"They should not have dismissed me for what I believed," Mr Floro told reporters after filing his appeal in May.

The judge said he had made a covenant with his dwarf friends that he could write while in a trance and that he had been seen by several people in two places at the same time.

Judge Floro reportedly changed from blue court robes to black each Friday "to recharge his psychic powers".

In a letter to the court he said: "From obscurity, my name and the three mystic dwarves became immortal."

However, the Supreme Court said dalliance with dwarves would gradually erode the public's acceptance of the judiciary as the guardian of the law, if not make it an object of ridicule

Tales of Ignorance and Tragedy

A five month old baby was mauled by two Rottweilers on Saturday. There is a public outcry and this morning on GMTV, there were discussions about vicious dogs that need to be placed on a banned breed list.

A few things came to mind when this story broke.

1. If you train temperamental dogs to be more temperamental and vicious, they will eventually harm someone.

2. I am expecting there to be a spate of stories about ignorant twats who will target Rottweilers and Rottweiller owners just like there were a bunch of ignorant twats who went around killing stingrays after Steve Irwin's death.

3. The focus has, understandably, been on the dogs and how vicious they are. No one has bothered to consider that this baby's parents left it unsupervised, knowing (one would think) of the temperamental animals lurking nearby. Who leaves a 5 month old baby upstairs in a pub by itself?

New Dangerdykes cartoon here

The truly great tragedy is the destruction of our human resources by our failure to fully utilize our abilities, which means that most men and women go to their graves with their music still in them.”

Oliver Wendall Holmes

5:08am.

I woke up with a pounding headache that moved around my head even though I didn't move at all. I am familiar with early morning migraines and headaches. But it just pisses me off that it's a Friday and it starts off with my head feeling like I have had a hot knife shoved into it. And the knife is constantly twisted. It's not a migraine, just a really bad headache. I took two extra strength painkillers at 7am and that's taken the edge off a bit, but the pain is still there.

I want to be at home with Kate, snuggled in bed. I want a pyjama day.

*pout*

OK - that's me feeling sorry for myself out of the way.

Watch out for:

1. Kate's update today on the progress on the customisation of her drum kit. We now have what looks like Hellfire! Woo hoo!

2. Massive update on The Esotericon coming this weekend! Finally, after a month!!!

3. Dangerdykes get updated tonight so fans can catch up on this lovely little web comic.

4. I'll also be putting up a cartoon on this blog over the weekend based on my recent very weird dream.

Directions...

I am looking for my True North
My centre
The me who is me
My soul point
My authentic self
My purpose

I need directions.

A Very Weird Dream

I have loads of weird dreams, but sometimes, they are so bizarre that I feel I have to tell the world!

My dream started out normally enough. I dreamt I was on a large university campus and was in the process of getting my text books and moving into a room. So, out in the courtyard, this massive glass cylinder lands from out of the sky and out step Wonder Woman and... Jesus. Yup. Jesus. Wonder Woman says to Jesus, "I'd like a hug". He hugs her. So I think to myself that Jesus has given up the god gig to become a superhero. I mean, why else would he be there with Wonder Woman? Then he is changed from his Jesus robes into a basket ball uniform. Jesus, it transpires, is there to coach the men's basketball team.

How freaking weird is THAT???

Do You Believe in Reincarnation?

My buddy Sibri is interested in your opinion. Go over to his blog and leave your opinion in the comments.

I stole this from him. It's yesterday's quote:

SGI President Ikeda's Daily Encouragement for September 19
Our existence in this world can be likened to a dream. The issue of by far the greatest importance and eternal relevance is how we face death, the inescapable destiny of all living beings. For in the face of death, external factors such as social status or position in the organization count for naught. Everything depends on one's faith, one's state of life.

ex-u-ber-ant [ig-zub-r-ant]

1. effusively and almost uninhibitedly enthusiastic; lavishly abundant
2. abounding in vitality; extremely joyful and vigorous.

Today, for the first time in a long while, I am experiencing one of those extraordinarily fantastic days. The best way to describe how I feel is to say I feel exuberent. So exuberant, in fact, that I feel like the personification of a loud Hawaiian shirt.

It started at 6am. I got out of bed and woke up relatively quickly, which surprised me because usually it takes me until 11am to feel vaguely awake. I did an exercise routine for muscle toning and while I was taking a shower afterwards, this feeling of everything being wonderful and just perfect in the world crept up on me.

Maybe it was the exercise, releasing endorphins. Maybe it is because I am chanting to take ownership of my Buddhahood and my life. Who knows? Today feels wonderful. Today feels that nothing can go wrong and I feel beautiful and joyful. And thrown in amongst all this is a gorgeous liquid sensation that I call serenity.

Today rocks. I rock!

There was a time I felt this way quite regularly. At that point in time I exercises regularly, got up at 6am, ate healthily and meditated. I know that this is just a taste of the return to that state of life. I'm going to enjoy this!

DO NOT RESUSCITATE

(edit)

I found this article, which I thought was brilliant. This little old lady is so adament that she not be resuscitated, she had it tattooed on her chest!

Introducing ..... ZAK!
About a month ago, this delightful creature entered our lives. Zak had to be rehomed because his owner felt that he was interfering with her new born baby. When he came to us, he was very underweight and had conjunctivitis. The vet informed us he had been malnourished and that he had ear mites, fleas and cat flu. He was 13 weeks old then and the vet told us his growth had been stunted because of not being fed properly. Kate and I, ever the saps for some poor kitty sob-story were happy to have him, though, as my Dad pointed out, Zak probably got the better end of the deal as the baby may not get off as lightly as Zakky did. He is the naughtiest and bravest of all our cats. He charged straight for Noodle the Ninja and even challenged Queen Mischa. Within a day he had made friends with Lucifer. By the end of the week, he was playing with Tinkie and now Noodle has warmed to him too. Mischa, of course, being head of the household, is reserving judgement until he has grown up enough as to not become annoying to her. He's a real sweetie and fits in well with the rest of the nutcases (humans included) that reside in La Casa Della Lesbica.

To Do List

This was inspired by Karen and her list. Add your own ideas in the comments.

Things To Do Before I Turn 35
Treat myself to Champagne cocktails in a posh location
Sell a piece of art that I have created
Get slim, fit and healthy
Stay slim, fit and healthy
Be debt free
Spend a luxurious day in a day spa and be pampered
Get tattooed. Again.
Give up television for 1 week
Own a pair of Daemonia Bat shoes
Write a novel
Read 100 books
Go out in full Gothic gear with Kate in her full Gothic gear
Sponsor a guide dog puppy
Go to a writers'/artists' festival
Visit my friend Paola in Italy
Go on a Buddhist course at Trets, France
Quit drinking alcohol for a month at least
Give up caffeine
Know what I want to do with my life
Either read or get rid of all the unread books on my bookshelf



Things To Do Before I Turn 40
Swim with Dolphins
Drink Margaritas with Chris
Visit New York City
Learn to play the guitar. Not just a few strums to a few tunes, but really super well.
Get a degree
Visit Mexico and walk around the pyramids. Hopefully as part of a Toltec group.
Participate in a fundraising challenge event
Go for a holiday in Plettenberg Bay again
Go to the Opera at Covent Garden or La Scala or The Met or Glyndebourne
Dress as Magenta and attend a Rocky Horror Show and do the whole audience participation thing
Speak fluent Italian
Speak fluent Dutch



Things to do before I die
Send a message in a bottle.Test drive a sexy little sports car
Read 1,000 books
Learn to at least understand French and German

Things I've already done:
Visit New Grange
Visit Stonehenge
Got Tattooed
Gone to Venice
Learned another language
Lived in a foreign country and experienced the culture (3 times)
Got married
Got divorced
Stood naked in the moonlight at midnight
Posed nude for a lifedrawing class

Project Customise

Aaah. See those strange shapes above? That's Kate's disassembled drum kit. She has asked me to customise it for her with a series of characters I have come up with known as The Rolling Bones. These skeletal rockers are: Hangman, Screwball, Kaiser and Smitty. You'll hear more about them as things progress.

Kate and I have decided to chronicle this custom job through (very bad) digital photos. And this blog.

WATCH THIS SPACE

New DangerDykes post HERE.

New poem on Tastes Like Llama

Five Years

Five years ago today the twin towers fell. I am sure this is a superfluous piece of information, which no doubt will be repeated from blog to blog on whatever service we all use. I am sure I don't need to say anything more about the topic than that. Now, when you say "September 11th" everyone knows exactly what you mean. And in just those two words is hidden a vast weight of meaning, far greater than the date stamp it represents.

I am sure I am not the only person mentioning 9/11.

For me, September 11th was the day that the whole world changed. A whole set of ideas about safety and security came down with the towers. The untouchable nation was touched. Perceptions changed, lives changed. And we were all changed.

I can hardly believe that this happened five years ago. So much and so little has taken place in five years.

This is where I will stop. Silence will say it best.

"I can spend £5.48 on better things."

Back at the start of July, Kate introduced me to Ksolo.com. We both love our karaoke*, so online karaoke seemed to be a fine idea. Only thing is that if you want to sing, you have to pay. The fee, in US$, worked out to £5.48. At the start of August, when Ksolo asked me to pay up for another month of unlimited recordings, I declined. When I told this to Kate, I justified my decision with the remark, "I can spend £5.48 on better things."

Yesterday, I chatted away to Kate about how I was thinking of sponsoring a guide dog puppy. The cost is £5.00 a month. She asked me if I could afford it. I shrugged because I hadn't really thought about spending £5.00 a month outside of groceries etc before.

I was able to consider £5.48 of online karaoke per month, with a view that I could afford to spend just over five quid for my own entertainment. I thought about it and deliberated and yeah, I can afford £5.00 to sponsor a guide dog puppy. £5.00 a month on a guide dog is better than spending £5.00 a day on cigarettes or £5.00 a month on chewing gum. So, I am giving back a little to society.

For a while now, I have felt like I want to make some kind of contribution that is outside myself and outside my family. Something beyond my comfort zone. Guide dogs provide a very valuable service to the blind and partially sighted, and having spoken to a blind man with a dog, I realise just how much money and time is spent on these very clever animals.


*Incidentally, if you are interested in hearing my cacophonic rasps, you can do so HERE. If you fancy listening to Kate, you can do so HERE.

Ho Ho Fucking Ho.

I forgot to mention that as of 1 September, our local Co-Op has put out its Christmas junk for sale. Every year it's a little earlier.

For fuxake! We haven't had Hallo-fucking-ween yet!

Auntie Liz and Coven Nights

Well, tonight I am off to see Auntie Liz.

Auntie Liz is the crazy white haired lady in the middle of the picture. I am the bespectacled chick on the left and my cousin Rochelle is on the right.

Auntie Liz isn't my real auntie. I adopted her. Rochelle is my real cousin, though, and she is visiting from South Africa and I am going to see her tonight before she heads home at the end of this week.

There was a time Auntie Liz used to open her home for dinner with a whole host of interesting ladies on a Tuesday night. We called these "Coven Nights". I miss that. I miss the atmosphere that those nights held.

But tonight, I see Rochelle and I can hand over a book for her to take back for my sister.

And spare a thought for poor Kate who has decided that she should stay in tonight and finish off the painting and decorating. Bless. I am lucky to have such a DIY savvy woman in my life.

Tastes Like Llama has updated with a short poem. GO HERE.

New DangerDykes update. Go here.

Cat Wailing and Insomnia...

This is a bit of a naff post.

You may have guessed, from reading this blog, that Kate and I love our cats. We do. We do love our cats.

I just wish that sometimes they weren't quite so quirky as to draw attention to themselves. For instance, at 4:27am this morning, Mischa was meowing her head off outside and I heard the neighbour calling, "here, puss, puss, puss" out her windows. As if Madame Mischa is some stray in pain who needs rescuing.

But that's exactly how she sounded.

I recognised the tone of the meowing. It was her "I've Caught A Thing" song. The past few months, every time she has caught 'a thing', she has sung about it outside, often while crunching the 'thing'. Sometimes she brings whatever it is indoors and continues singing inside (preferred because it won't disturb the neighbours), with the occasional growl thrown in when one of the others approach. The "I've Caught A Thing" song is very distinctive and sounds like no other meow she emits. Nope. It sounded like she was in an incredible amount of pain and needed rescuing.

Mortified, I rushed downstairs in my nightie and barefeet and went outside. In a stage whisper, I said: "Mischa! You silly girl - the window is open!" I knew the neighbours were listening - the lights were on next door. I didn't want them to think I am a bad kitty-mommy who locks her children outside. The window was indeed open! I also didn't want them to think that Mischa is neglected, in pain and needs rescuing.

Mischa was in the neighbour's garden, singing happily away and crunching her mouse. She looked at me with big wide eyes that said, "I've caught a thing, mummy. I've caught a thing. Look! I am eating my thing." Gilbert poked his head round the door and had no doubt seen me in my short nightie, attempting to coax Mischa into the house. Oh dear. The neighbour has seen me in my bedroom attire.

"Mischa, you have to go inside. Now. Please?" Mischa didn't care. She wasn't embarrassed. I picked her up and took her indoors. She hates being picked up. I was scratched to buggery.

With Mischa settled, I went back upstairs and climbed back into bed. It was 4:43am. I could not get back to sleep. At 5:30am I decided that if I wasn't asleep by 6am, I would get up. I must have dropped off after that because I was woken up by the alarm at 7am.
And all that for Madame Mischa.

Tanya Reads More News Articles.


A couple of years ago I came across an article that claimed that an enzyme in semen alleviated depression in women. Today, I come across this article. Now, for fuck's sake, make up your goddamn minds! Semen good? Semen bad? What about how it affects gay men? Christ! JOY of JOYs... I am a flaming dyke and don't have to worry about this. But straight people beware: You could DIE of semen poisoning. And if you don't have sex, you'll be plunged into depression.

Been following this story since it broke. Sounds like Stockholm Syndrome to me.

And finally, for a bit of strangeness, prostitutes in Australia are offering discounts to compensate for hikes in fuel prices. Here you go.