The Great Cosmic Baseball Bat

(and a bit of an update)

I may have mentioned my friend Jose and his Cosmic Baseball Bat theory.

One late night, talking over Skype with me in Rutland and Joe in Cape Town, Joe laid out the theory. It went something like this: the universe will tap you on the shoulder once, twice, maybe three times. If you don't listen or get the lesson, it will come after you with a baseball bat.

Wise words, indeed. Because I didn't get the coffeeshop job at Barnsdale Gardens. And the other jobs I applied for didn't come back to me at all. All this has led me to conclude (once again) that the Universe is instructing me to use my talents to generate extra income.

The Great Cosmic Baseball Bat has been rather busy in my life recently. Nothing like having Karma bash you over the head to make you take notice of your life.

I dig Gandhi. Very wise man. He said once, to paraphrase, that people become the people they expect themselves to be. Imagine the potential we all have to change our lives.

And change is exactly what I feel is happening to me. Not on a superficial level, but deep down, right in the mechanics of my life - the cogs and wheels. I feel that the fundamental essence of my life has begun to evolve and move. It feels a bit like an old machine that has been lying unused in the corner of a dark room and someone has come along and cranked the handle. Very slowly, the machinery has just begun to grind into life.

This began about three weeks ago at the start of a yoga class. We chanted OM and I felt like I wasn't my body. I wasn't my personality either. I was just part of this vast and deep ocean. I was the ocean. I connected with something that wasn't just Tanya O. I believe I connected with the Buddha Nature and what we call the Ninth or Amala Consciousness. Perhaps what Eckhart Tolle talks about too.

This shift, I feel, is both deep and profound. I have no idea what it means or where it will take me, but I am prepared to fully experience this journey.

Books

As you can see by the book list on the right hand side, I am already half way through my goal of reading 10 books this year. Fantastico! I'll be doing a mid-goal review of these books at some point. Thanks for the suggestions some of you made.

A More Detailed Update on Recent Events in the Life of Tanya

General Health
Been to the doctor this morning. My shoulder, apparently, is not what is causing me the excrutiating agony that I have been living with. The doctor seems to think that the problem stems from my neck and has ordered a course of physio and an x-ray, just to check that no vertebrae are squishing things and that things are generally in order. I get zapped by radiation tomorrow morning. Which is very quick for the NHS, really. She thinks I may have a trapped nerve or something. As long as they can fix it with a minimal amount of drugs, I am fine with it. Having said that, though, I did ask her for a refill of the mega-supa-dupa painkilling medicine she prescribed for me in October.

I avoid allopathic medicine as much as possible, preferring herbal remedies and alternative treatments. Sometimes, when I need it, it's nice to know that I can take the magic bullet, even though I know it's just treating a symptom and not the cause. I can't afford to see my Medicine Man, nor can I afford the treatments such as shiatsu or acupuncture, which I feel would be the most helpful for this. So I am at the mercy of the NHS and I am grateful for their physio and chemicals.

Creative Writing Workshop
I am having so much fun teaching people! I love seeing people grasping the ideas, seeing the light go on in their eyes as they start to make sense of it all. Most of all, I love that they feel inspired to be more creative. The more I do this, the more I feel I was born to do this. That this is my perfect job. The job that isn't WORK. The job that I would happily do for free because I love it that much. Can I really make a living doing nothing but teaching creative writing? Really? How?

Last night, none of the men in the class showed up and it was just the ladies. Completely different vibe. I noticed that the women seemed a lot freer and expressive without the men around. Interesting.

Driving home, I had several ideas pop into my head. One day workshops. Weekend workshops. Retreats. And the ideas began to scare me because the more I thought about them, the BIGGER they got. And the self doubt crept in. And you know what I decided? I decided that the self doubt can be consigned to the category of bullshit. And we all know how I feel about bullshit. So.

Here are all these ideas. And I have no qualifications other than my experience and my instincts. Sounds like a recipe for adventure!